Live and Learn
by Markiee
Summary: Originally written by CaRpE. DiEm. seize. the .day...I will be continuing it! Original summary;After the death of her brother, Bella moves to Forks. Depressed, lonely & holding the whole world on her shoulders. Life at a new place & school is confusing enough without falling for someone forbidden. She can try to resist Mr. Cullen but does she really want to?
1. Prolouge

Hey everyone! New comers, people who read the beginning of Live and Learn, and to everyone following me. I am continuing this story for .day, I fell in love with it and was honored when she offered it to me. I just hope I can do her justice! I will be updating with the chapters she has written while working on the newest ones! Also this does not mean I am giving up on my own stories, I am still working and brain storming on those(though slowly). Enjoy and thank you for giving me a chance!

Markie o.0

Prologue

1,583.51 Miles, that's how far away I had to move. I say "had to" because although I wasn't technically forced, in all honesty I didn't have much of a choice. My mother just couldn't handle having me around anymore, it was just too hard for her. I understood believe me I did, but that didn't make it any easier for me.

I had to move all the way from beautiful sunny Phoenix all the way to wet and windy Forks, Washington. Needless to say it was going to suck and I wasn't happy about it.

I must admit that I was slightly angry at Renee for sending me away. I understood that after what happened it was tough for her but it was tough for me too. I was having a hard time too, I was hurting just as much as she was.

Renee couldn't see it though. She was too blind in her grief to see that after losing one child she was pushing away another one.

I wasn't happy about Renee's choice to send me away but I wasn't going to fight her on it. I knew how much it hurt her to see me every day and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her anymore.

So I accepted Renee's wishes and packed my bags. One small suitcase and one duffel bag.

It seemed quite sad that my whole seventeen years of existence fit into those two bags.

My whole life just packed away.

Still though I couldn't bring everything with me, some things had to be left behind mostly just rubbish, stupid, meaningless things, but there were some things that were irreplaceable, that I would never get back.

Things that belonged to him. He was only four months dead but yet it felt as if had been years. These last few months had been so long, so tiring. I just wanted them to be over. I knew they would probably never end, after all he was gone.

The day that he left my whole life fell apart as well as Renee's and my fathers: Charlie and I don't think that our family, if it could ever be called that, could ever be put back together, not without him.

I couldn't think about it any longer it was depressing me too much and my day was shitty enough without thinking about all the crap that had happened in the last four months.

So with that I zipped the zip on my duffel bag and carried it out to the car where Phil and Renee were waiting to drive me to the airport. I climbed in the back seat and slammed the door behind me.

Renee looked at me sternly from the front seat. I agreed to go live with Charlie but that doesn't mean I was okay with it. Slamming the door was my way of letting Renee know I was angry.

She turned around in her seat and ignored me for the rest of the drive. I wouldn't be surprised if she was drunk, that was a recurring habit lately.

Nobody spoke for the entire trip and I was fine with that. I just sat quietly and worried about moving to Forks, to Charlie. All I could do was pray that he didn't hate me as much as Renee, but if he did, I wouldn't blame him.


	2. I'm stuck on the ground

**Hey everyone, sorry for not posting this chapter yesterday! But it was Valentine's Day and I got a wonderful surprise from my boyfriend. ****㈴1 Okay I won't get mushy on you guys. But here it is, again this chapter is written by CaRpE-dEiM-seize-the-day, she deserves all of the wonderful credit. All I did was change couple things here and there so it will flow better with the chapters I write. Enjoy! Oh and reviews are still lovely to read! CaRpE-dEiM-seize-the-day deserves to know how loved her story is. :)**

I'm Stuck on the Ground

When I arrived at the Sea-Tac airport in Seattle,_ because forks doesn't have an Airport, _It was unsurprisingly raining thus adding to my crappy mood. After Renee dropped me off at the airport, gave me a hug goodbye and told me that I should email, I found out that my flight is delayed an hour and I couldn't sleep on the plane. Therefore I was tired, hungry and just sad. I missed home already.

I grab my bags from the conveyer belt and pull them towards the exit. Stopping when I reach the doors to look around for Charlie.

I see him climbing out of the cruiser and walking towards me._ I forgot about the cruiser for a second there._ I can clearly see it now, it sticks out like a sore thumb.

I'm just glad the blue and red lights aren't actually flashing.

Charlie walks up to me and takes my duffle bag out of my hands and pulls me into a sort of awkward one armed limp hug. "Hey Bells!" Charlie smiles a small smile. I managed to give one back. "Hi Dad".

Releasing me from the awkward hug we start towards the cruiser. I follow and thank God when Charlie opens the front passenger seat, feeling thankful that I don't have to sit in the back.

Everyone always stares at you in the back as if you are a criminal. Daniel used to have to ride in the back when we stayed with Charlie for the summer, when we were kids.

Charlie has a strict ladies always sat up front rule. Daniel Hated it.

Thinking about Daniel brings tears to my eyes. I miss him so much. I'm trying to stop the tears from escaping when Charlie speaks up; "How have you been Bells?"

I keep my eyes on my hands and don't look at him I don't want to lie to him but I can't tell Charlie the truth either. What can I say_ my brother is dead, obviously I feel Like crap, I hate the world, I hate life, I hate myself._ I can't say that, instead I just reply with "I've been fine"

"That's good." is Charlie's reply.

We don't speak much after that, neither I nor Charlie are talker's but despite the silence its not awkward, its relaxing, a relief that I don't have to pretend that everything is fine.

Charlie knows as well as I do that everything isn't fine.

When we pull up outside the house a flood of memories hit me. Everything still looks the same, completely unchanged since the last time I was here, almost six years ago.

It is in all honesty, a little bit weird. I've spent every summer here with Daniel when we were kids up until we were eleven, when both Daniel and I decided that we didn't want to come anymore. After that Charlie used to meet us in Florida or California or wherever it was we were staying for two weeks. It had been two years since we had done that.

So it has been quite some time since I've been back to Forks, or lived with Charlie for that matter. Despite spending my childhood here and everything being the exact same I feel as of I'm in a foreign land. Somewhere I'd never been before. Forks looks and feels different without Daniel.

Charlie helps me pull my bags out of the trunk of the car and I drag them up the steps after Charlie with the duffle bag over my shoulder, Charlie with my suitcase.

He unlocks the door and turns to look at me.

"You must be tired, I'll show you to your room." I just nod in reply, I don't feel like talking.

He walks me up the stairs past the bathroom and to my room on the right, across from my room is Daniel's old room. I feel that all familiar ache starting in my chest. I quickly enter my room before I can't stand to stare at his bedroom door too much.

Upon entering my room I discovered that everything is the same as it always is. The same lamp sat on the old bedside table, the walls were still painted the same lilac color.

The only new additions are the new purple bed sheets and an old...old computer that sits on the desk in the corner.

I stand in the same spot looking around for a few minutes. "Well I didn't re-paint or anything because I don't know what colors you like, you still like purple don't you?" Charlie asks.

I turn to look at him "Yeah purple is great." I mumble. Charlie looks relieved.

"That's good." He says.

"Yeah." I reply awkwardly.

We stand in silence for a few minutes until Charlie turns to me and says "Well I'll leave you to get settled." With that he walks out the door.

I stand for a few seconds and survey the room. I stare at the desk beside my bed, from where I stand I can see a photo frame. Its covered in dust so I can't see the picture inside it, but I know exactly what picture it is.

I walk slowly towards it and sit on my bed facing the window. I pick it up in my hands and look down at the dust covering it. Lifting a shaky hand, with one finger I wipe and smudge the dirt away.

I can see my brown hair through the glass. Freezing, not sure if I should continue, but I can't stop myself. I wipe the rest of the dust away with my fingers and looked intently at my hands which were covered in dust.

Wiping my fingers on the leg of the denim jeans I'm wearing, I look down at the photograph in my hands. It was Daniel and I back home in Phoenix, we were about ten in the picture. It was so sunny out and I stood in my sundress while Daniel stood beside me in a pair of red shorts and a t-shirt. I had a scrape on my knee. I can't see it in the photo but I remember because _I had fallen and was crying, Daniel ran over to me and gently lifted my knee and told me that he would protect me from my own clumsy feet. It made me stop crying. Daniel helped me up and I stumbled __again__, we both busted out in laughter__._

That's when the picture was taken, my head was thrown back and I had tears in my eyes. I feel myself giggle just looking at the picture. I looked closely at Daniel. He was bent at the waist laughing but he still has his hand on my arm ready to catch me if I fell again. I smile for a second and just stare at the photo and then suddenly I couldn't hold it back any longer and the tears start pouring down my cheeks.

Sobs are wracking my whole body and I start shaking. I haven't cried like this since I found out Daniel was dead. I have been numb the last few months, but now being here in forks I can't pretend anymore. I can't hold it in, I don't want to hold it in.

I lay down on my bed and hug the photograph tight to my chest and sob. I cry for my mother and my father, I cry for having to move to Forks and leave everything behind, I cry because tomorrow is my first day at forks high and I am terrified but most of all I cry because Daniel isn't here, he isn't with me and I miss him so much.

I don't know how long I cried for, eventually I stopped and I was left with red, puffy eyes, a headache and that tiredness you always get after having a good cry. I look at the clock on the bedside table, it reads 11:30 pm.

I don't move, I just lay here curled up with the frame clutched to my chest and let the hours drift past. Charlie checks in on me at 12:30 and I pretend to be asleep. He only stayed for a second and then went to bed.

I remained awake until finally at 3:17 am I fall into a fitful sleep.


	3. Author Update

Hi everyone, every reader, and everyone still hanging in there with me!

I am so sorry for not posting anything, or writing anything! I promise I have a good excuse!

The thing is, I'm currently 16 ½ weeks pregnant. :D exciting news I know! However it was a huge shock to my boyfriend and I and we've been figuring it all out. Plus I am high risk, and no longer able to work. This has changed my life a lot, but we are excited and making it work out. Anxious to find out the sex in three weeks! Basically I have had no energy and every time I try to do something I get very dizzy, I've passed out a couple times and ended up in the hospital. Both the baby and I are fine, and healthy. It just comes down to the fact that I don't eat as much as an average person and my blood sugar plummets. So I've been having to focus a lot on making sure I eat and hydrate enough.

I have been feeling better recently, and with only a couple weeks left of class I'm finally finding myself with the urge to write. So the plan is to have an update to at least two stories! Also I'll try getting all the chapters out that are original to Carpe-deim-seize-the-day for live and learn. I just ask that you please hang in there with me. I have not given up on these at all, and my boyfriend is pushing me to get back into them.

Thank you to everyone still hanging with me, I know I've put you through a lot!

Love always,

The new Mommy-to-be, Markie


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